All psychologists will agree that communication begins with eye-contact. Researchers have found that we communicate with our eyes more than our mouths in a face-to-face social situation.

The eyes reveal friendliness or animosity, interest or apathy, attraction or revulsion. In fact, the eyes in many ways tell you more about what a person is feeling than what is actually said. Words can be contrived, the tongue may deceive, but the subconscious language of the eyes never lies.

The explanation as to why the eyes are capable of revealing so much about our innermost feelings and emotions is found in the relationship between the eyes and the brain. This same region of the brain (the limbic system) controls and monitors our emotions and feelings, and our eyes. Our moods and emotions therefore affect the function and appearance of the eyes. These changes occur on a subconscious level, meaning we do not realize that our eyes are giving away our secrets.

The pupil

Dilation and constriction of the pupils are directly dependent upon the functioning of the iris. The pupils of our eyes are essential to our survival and well-being simply by virtue of the visual data they transmit to the brain. In bright sunlight, the pupil contracts, preventing too much light entering the eye, which would damage the retina. In dim light, the pupils dilate, allowing more light to enter the lens. But the pupil not only responds to light. It is also controlled by our thoughts and emotions.

Understanding Thought Processes

Have you ever noticed when talking to people how their eyes move in different directions? The direction in which we move our eyes reveals the nature of our thoughts. If the eyes are the windows of the soul, the way in which we move our eyes is the doorway to our mind. Researchers in the science of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) discovered through controlled studies that the way we move our eyes is determined by our thoughts. The direction in which we look is regulated by what we are thinking. For instance, over 90% of right-handed people look to the left when asked to remember something and look to the right when asked to mentally construct something in their imagination. For left-handed people, the position is reversed.

(The following eye movements relate to the thought processes of right-handed people. For left-handed people, everything is reversed.)

The eyes move upwards to the left when we remember scenes or images. Most people move their eyes in this direction when recalling a dream, i.e., visual characteristics. Therefore, questions that result in people looking upwards to the left are concerned with visual image, such as colour, size or quantity.
Our eyes will move upwards and to the right when we create an image in our mind of something we have never seen before. Just ask someone to picture a pink elephant wearing a red dress and their eyes will roll upward to the right.

The eyes move sideways toward the left when we remember sounds, music and voices. When we are trying to create a new sound in our mind, we usually look sideways to the right. Your eyes will move downwards to the left when talking to yourself. If someone you are talking to looks in this direction, it means they are not concentrating on what you are saying at that moment.

This position of their eyes reveals they are either evaluating what you have just said or thinking about something else. When you observe a person looking downward toward the right, it reveals they are accessing their senses, whether smell, taste or touch, or their emotions.

The way in which we move our eyes is related to the way our brains process, store and access information. The way in which we move our eyes during a conversation is linked not only to what we are thinking; it also reveals a lot about our self-esteem, interest and boredom, honesty and deceitfulness. People (for whatever reasons) quite often feel compelled to be dishonest, rather than tell the truth, and the truth of a person's statement can often be confirmed or challenged by the reaction of their pupils and the way they move their eyes in conversation.

There are two other ways in which the eyes tell you whether someone is being dishonest. The first and most obvious sign of dishonesty is when a person refuses to look you in the eye during conversation. When someone is being open and honest during normal conversation, they will look you in the eyes between one- and two-thirds of the time. If a person is lying or holding back information, he or she will look at you less than one-third of the time and will often gaze toward the floor. You should also be suspicious about the truth of a statement when a person rubs their eyes when talking about something. This last gesture is the brain's attempt to block out the deceit, doubt or lie. Or, it's the brain's attempt to avoid having to look at the face of the person to whom the lie is being told. Usually, rapid movements of the eyeball indicate that the person is psychologically disturbed (e.g., post-traumatic stress disorder, schizophrenia, phobias and personality disorders).

The eyes reveal more about our feelings and emotions than any other facial feature. The eyes are by far the most powerful of communicators, expressing more about our true feelings than the words we speak or the tone of our voice.

Our moods and emotions therefore affect the function and appearance of the eyes. When we feel certain emotions, subtle changes occur simultaneously that directly affect the movement and appearance of our eyes. Faces can lie, but the eyes do not. One look can say more than a thousand words. It is the person's gaze--the direction and manner in which he or she looks--that reveals most about their emotions.