"They paved paradise and put up a parking lot," crooned Joni Mitchell in the '70s.

Parking in cities of the Kingdom during the '80s and '90s was still child's play. Nasty devices like the yellow wheel clamps were still unknown, and parking was mostly free.

These days I see hyper-stressed drivers with validated or nonvalidated green parking tickets in their mouths busy trying to exit or find a parking bay. Here are a few handy parking tips:

Put down the ticket

Do not put the parking ticket in your mouth! You do not look cool with that thing in your mouth! Nor should you grip the ticket with your fingers while turning the steering wheel.

Keep both hands on the wheel, and relax. Parking is not stressful. However, many dents and scratches do occur during parking manouvres.

Safety and security first

Always keep your windows completely closed. And do not leave your cute fluffy white miniature pet poodle in the car. Temperatures inside the car can reach a scorching 40-50 degrees Celsius in no time.

Avoid parking beside large vehicles such as trucks or vans which can provide a convenient shield from eye witnesses. Also heavy stuff can fall off these commercial vehicles.

Never leave your mail visible in your vehicle. Your address will provide clues to strangers. Protect your identity. And do not leave tempting valuables or property visible inside your vehicle. Lock these items out of sight in your trunk or leave them at home else you'll be the victim of a smash-and-grab crime.

If parking at night, find a spot in the most well-lit area of the parking lot, especially in underground parking lots. Do not park in isolated locations or behind obstructions that block you from the view of others. These areas could lack closed-circuit TV monitoring.

Be aware. Also, check inside both front and back seat before you step inside, just like in the Hollywood flicks.

Desperate advertising

Finally, a clever parking space advertising: a painted red and white parking stripe marked, "Parking for Desperate Housewives". This was the ABC network's advertising in a Chicago parking lot for the return of Desperate Housewives.

Buckle up. Drive safely and park safely.