Finding out your wife is pregnant with your first child can have curious effects on a man... Some may mourn this perceived loss of freedom by retreating into solitude, for other expecting-papas it may lead to a rash purchase or premature onset of a midlife crisis.

For Californian resident Dan Ngo, however, he chose to deal with this life?s milestone by shaving his head and following the head monk of the Buddhist Temple of America to Thailand.

Owner of an import and export business, Dan (46) told the Post that it was his stressful lifestyle and not his wife?s pregnancy that motivated him to leave his home to travel to Thailand and ultimately miss the birth of his first child.

?In the US, I was spoiled and took things very much for granted. Everything in life I wanted I got.? He realised, through spending time with Ajarn Samruay, and witnessing
how giving he was with people and animals and how they in turn interacted with him, that although he felt respected at work, it was only soley in that sense.

?People love Ajarn Samruay for who he is as a person. When I was living and working in America, this wasn?t the case; people respected me as a business owner and not as a person.?

This he insists was because of the way he treated people, and how although he professed to love many, it was only himself whom he loved and placed at number one.

?My wife who is a strict Buddhist had asked me to see him for a long time, but I always said I was too busy and I was.?

When the two did meet, Dan believed that the aged monk sensed in him something he himself didn?t realise was there.

?I think he picked up on my unhappiness and strangely enough he said that he would see me in Thailand in the future.?

Dan never really seriously entertained that idea though, until a twist of fate led to the two men both being in Southeast Asia at the same time.

?I had to go to Vietnam for business, and while I was there my wife called me to tell me
Ajarn Samruay was in Thailand, so I travelled over there on 7 November.

At that point, Dan admits that he was going under the assumption that it was only going to be for a week, and not the three months of following Ajarn Samruay around that it turned out to be.

He spent the majority of the time when he first got there at one of Ajarn Samruay?s temples in Sakon Nakhon.

?I really didn?t know what to expect. I woke up at 4.30am every morning and rang the bell before morning meditation,? said Dan.

The rest of Dan?s days would consist of domestic chores around the temple, something he admits was relatively alien to him.

?I had never cleaned dishes before; it was always my wife or my mother at home. In fact I had so many people to take care of me when I was in trouble that I never really learned to take responsibility for myself. I was so selfish. My ego was sky high, it was all, me, myself and I.?

Living with meager possessions and with just two pairs of clothes over the last two months has taught Dan a valuable lesson, hopefully one he will never forget.

?I now realise that the more you give, the more you get back. Before I always put myself first, and was always thinking about what I was going to get back. I expected too much. Now I see that if you simply don?t expect, then you won?t be disappointed.?

Although Dan admits that he was a practicing Buddhist when he was a child, and at 16 went to the 1,000 Buddha temple in San Francisco, it was only relatively recently that he started to appreciate its lessons, ?It has just been in the last couple of weeks, that I have become awakened to how to really love and care about other people,? he said.
This realisation did not come without its fair share of difficulty, and the Californian said that he struggled when, perhaps for the first time in his life, somebody was telling him what to do.

Dan recounts with a wry smile: ?I hated my ?brother? monk because he would always tell me to sit a certain way or walk a certain way, he never seemed to be happy with me.?

The language barrier compounded the problem and Dan found that as Ajarn Samruay and his ?brother? monk spoke very little Englsh, most of the communication was done through chants and this in itself revealed something that Dan was not expecting.

?Even though it?s a different language, if you really concentrate then you can understand. This is as long as you don?t have an answer before the question is even asked.?

Dan also learned to finally love, respect and understand his brother monk. ?I adopted, adapted and overcame and am thankful for the lesson.?

Despite missing the birth of his first son, Dan has no regrets, ?If I had gone back and not stayed, I would have been the same selfish and stressed man.?

His wife has also been incredibly supportive, ?I speak with my wife every week or two. She thankfully told me to do what I needed to do, as long as I come back and had learned something.?

Before Dan left Phuket, he admitted to the Post that it would be difficult maintaining a Buddhist outlook on life while living in California which he believes is a materialistic society.

?People only respect how wealthy you are,? Dan said. He told the Post that he was determined not to slip back into his old ways though.

?I will be doing consistent chanting and meditation. This will affect (hopefully in a positive way) how I interact with people,? he promised.

Last year, the most important thing for Dan was how much he was earning and how successful his business was, his priorities have changed now however and now he lists his wife and unseen newborn son?s happiness as the most important.

Dan has changed, and said quite confidently and definitely, ?I will probably even help with the dishes.?