I remember whispering, ?What?s happening Hasun??

?Just sit down here,? he replied so I sat cross-legged next to him. I kept asking what was going on. I started to feel angry as he wasn?t answering my question. I asked him if this was a blessing or something. I wasn?t sure he had understood what I had said and one ?elder? at the front who was his uncle started speaking.

I sat there with a million thoughts going through my head. At one point I wanted to walk out. But proceedings had already gotten underway. I glanced at Hasun, he looked kind of solemn and tears appeared in his eyes. It quelled some of my anger and frustration and when I was asked to repeat the elder?s words, I knew I was getting married ? Thai-muslim style.

As this was a Muslim marriage, Hasun had to give me a mahr (dowry). This is a payment given to the wife from the husband as a way of showing honour and a respect to her, to show that he has a serious desire to marry and is not simply entering into the marriage contract without any sense of responsibility and obligation or effort on his part.

Hasun searched his pockets and brought out 60 baht! I whispered to him that had I known I could have given him some money earlier, but he raised his eyebrows in a ?nothing we can do now? kind of expression.

Then a very weird thing happened ? they had a whip-round! All the guys put their
hand in their pockets and handed over 20 baht notes. There were sniggers of laughter and I too had to stifle laughter as the elder added up the pool of cash. There was 411 baht. Hasun had bought me for the grand sum of six quid!

The best was yet to come. The elder at the front had to say something to the effect that
we were joined together for the sum of what should have been ?si loi sip ed baht?411 baht,? but the guy couldn?t remember what he had to say. The first time he said the wrong figure and someone near the front whispered the correct number and he said it again.

?Wrong again!? someone shouted from the back. This went on about six or seven times. I haven?t got a clue why this guy couldn?t remember 411 baht ? maybe he couldn?t quite believe I was being bought so cheaply!

The figure finally said correctly, I was handed the money and was married to Hasun. No sooner had I got up than people came to congratulate me and Hasun. I finally left the house with the 411 baht in my hand feeling ?kind of special? and a whole lot calmer but with some questions mulling around my head like ?When had Hasun known they were going to do this??

We had talked about marriage and I did want it, but I felt bamboozled into doing it and a bit cheap that we were piggy-backing on someone else?s wedding and that I went for the price of an oil massage.

When I later asked if he knew we would be made to marry that day he said he didn?t know until that very day. He had just been asked to take me to the house and it was at that point that he knew it would happen. I hadn?t been prepared, got a dress or ring or my family?s presents, it had just happened by surprise. This was probably the best way, I kept telling myself, but did I really believe it?

Most people I know have a proper ceremony and decide when they want to marry and generally have some say in how their wedding is organised. However it is generally much harder to take control of your own life here as a foreigner in the way you do in the west.

I often felt like I was not in possession of the facts of something and it was always a source of tension between Hasun and myself. It was just one of the many hurdles that we had to negotiate in our cross-cultural relationship.

Don?t miss the next exciting, and exclusive, installment of Mayamoon?s life as a muslim wife with her new husband.